He Told Me I Gained Weight

When I first started dating my husband, I was scared I wasn't thin enough for him. He had muscles and no body fat( still does).
I assumed all men wanted to stick-thin women. Yes, yes, yes, I heard that men like flesh and want something to hold onto. But to me, that seemed like a bunch of bull. The control and fear of being too fat wouldn't let me entertain the thought that my body was the right size.

One night, on a romantic walk in the full moon. (Yes, I am not making that up for effect.) He put his arm around my waist, touched the flesh near my ribs, and said, "Wow, that's so soft. You didn't have that before. I love it." My life came to a screeching stop!!!!!!!!!

#1.He told me I gained weight.
#2 He said he liked it!!! This information didn't compute in my brain.

After freaking out that I gained weight, I slowed down to realize that he loved my body even with more flesh on it. In fact, he preferred it.

This reality was a HUGE healing moment for me. I was always controlling my weight and in fear that my partners would find my butt too big or belly too thick. I never let myself be free. Because of my obsession with my body, I created separation in all my relationships.

I didn't know any other way, but for the first time, I found I could be myself without fear. Let me belly soften. Eat food. And be told I was sexy as ever.

I believe that we have to love ourselves before we can truly accept love from others.
AND
I believe that our relationships can help us heal and to find love for ourselves.