When my Face Breakouts

This past year my face has been breaking out. Truth be told, I have suffered with breakouts on and off throughout my life. As a teenager I was put on oral antibiotics; this turned into Retin-A and finally Accutane. These ‘solved’ the issue for a while and then, periodically, my face would be in a red rage.

Speaking of rage, the latest round of breakout seemed to be linked to my inability to keep feelings of anger and upset inside any longer. As I became aware of my feelings, they not only showed up on my face, but I became willing to express them more directly in other ways. 

My journey this past year has been an uncomfortable one. Though I have been willing to share my message through videos, pictures and even getting on the TEDx stage, I have been experiencing a sense of hiding. Energetically, I have felt a little pulling back and the unwillingness to share myself completely. This is a coping mechanism I’m familiar with: I don’t want to be fully seen, so I hide; I hide behind my imperfections and blemishes.

I can honestly say that there are times that the acne doesn't bother me. I know my facial blemishes are not who I really am. Many times I have gone out in public without make up, without hiding, and in my full power and joy. But sometimes I still feel ashamed and embarrassed.

I'm realizing that loving my body means loving ALL of me, and this includes my "imperfections". I've been trying to heal this from the inside out. I am aware that even wanting my blemishes to go away means I'm not accepting what the truth really is. It is similar to the past relationship I had with my body when I was not willing to accept and love myself until I weighed a certain number on the scale. NOW, I want my acceptance and love to be unconditional. I want to accept and love myself regardless of a breakout or any other physical blemish or condition.

My experience with acne has given me insights and directed me to go deeper than I ever have. External and dietary measures are not working. My only relief has been through deep listening, expressing what I'm really feeling and letting go, trusting that I will learn to love myself no matter what my body looks like.

I’m gonna be transparent here: I don’t have it all figured out; I’m not always happy and unaffected when I look in the mirror. (And I don’t want to show you a picture of my face.) But I am really leaning in with more love for myself - my whole self. I hope that by sharing with you honestly, this may help you in some way.

If you are interested in learning about my workshop Lean into Love, CLICK HERE