This Man.

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his man has helped me heal my body in many ways. I remember when we were just dating. I was convinced that this beautiful sexy man wanted someone thin and skinny. In fact, I thought all men wanted women super thin and skinny. One evening he put his arm around my ribs. He touched the flesh so gently and lovingly said, "oh this feels so good. You didn't have this before." My mind started racing what? Is he telling me I just gained weight? And he's telling me he likes it? My mind did not know what to do at that moment. I didn't understand. I felt like I was in a different reality.
A man telling me I gained weight and saying he likes it!! It was mind blowing to me and took me days to even digest the information. My brain had been brainwashed into believing that every man wants a super thin body. Especially a man built like him who is sexy and fit and gorgeous.

From that moment on, something changed inside of me. That Something was pleasure. I began to relax around my body and allowed myself to enjoy my body while being in relationship to him.

When I share with men how I support women with body image issues, they often make comments like "I just don't get it. I don't understand why women are so concerned. " Most of them share how they love hips; voluptuous hips, something they can put their hands on. Many men are bewildered and confused at why their girlfriend doesn't see their beauty they way that they do.

As women we sometimes see men as wanting us to be something that we are not. ( Of course there is an exception to every rule and I get that. I also get that many women get a lot of pressure to lose weight.) What I learned from my husband was to stop projecting my own body images issues onto others. I needed to own my discomfort and vulnerability.
And along with that ownership I found more pleasure- my confidence and sexiness. This brought me more present in my body.
And that presence has allowed for more intimacy and connection with those I love.

That confidence came regardless of the number on the scale.